I spent years living with a state of panic constantly erupting in my mind. This paralyzing anxiety would sweep over me, seemingly out of no where, and I was helpless. I was always panicking about the world around me. What if something horrific happens to me while I’m driving down this highway right now? What if I lose my balance while hiking on the side of this mountain and I fall? What if my plane crashes during landing like in that one video I saw years ago? I’m sure these thoughts might seem dramatic and irrational to most. Even when I read these sentences back I can’t help but think that I’m a fucking nutter. But what you have to understand is that in the moment, when the anxiety is slowly taking over my mind, a thought like this will turn from irrational bullshit to the truth and reality of what is happening in this moment. When it came to anxiety, the rational thinking part of my brain handed the reigns over, and the anxiety had full control.
This is when the anxiety attack really begins. A lot of people use the terms anxiety and fear synonymously, and in a way, they start out the same. But when your brain convinces you that your worst fear is happening and you start seeing clear pictures of it happening around you, and you experience bodily reactions to this anxiety, you come to understand that you’re not experiencing simple freight.
It took me a long time to understand what anxiety really is and how anxiety can have various different ‘branches’ or ‘subcategories’. For example, I knew I had anxiety part-way through high school but I wasn’t diagnosed with social anxiety until I saw a doctor in my last year of university. When he explained what was going on in my brain and why I was feeling too paralyzed to even participate in a university tutorial, it made so much sense. It was like getting a GPS signal after driving around completely directionless for years. Getting a diagnoses, receiving therapy, and getting a strong understanding as to what your particular mental illness is, is one of the most important things if you struggle with mental health.
These were the first and some of the most significant steps I took. Learning little techniques like the 54321 method was super handy and practical to use in my day to day life. But honestly, the things that had the strongest impact (and still do), are the daily habits I’ve taken on. Meditating daily brings you such a deep awareness to your thoughts. It enables you (slowly and over time) to gain control over your thoughts. When it comes to anxiety, this means your thoughts have a harder time to spiral into that dark void that is a panic attack. It also brings you genuine physical peace and calm when you practice for even just 5 minutes at a time. It is truly such a powerful tool. Another extremely valuable daily habit to implement is movement. Not necessarily working out nor exercising. But just simply moving your body. Walking outside for 15 minutes. Stretching your body deeply. Practicing yoga at home. Whatever feels good for you. Developing a strong connection with your body and releasing this sticky, stagnant energy that can cling onto us is so incredibly powerful.
Thankfully, it’s been a few years since anxiety was the ruler of my mind. The freedom I experience on a daily basis is absolutely incredible. And honestly, I never would’ve thought this would be possible. I thought my reality would uncontrollably forever be nauseating nerves, panicked jitters, and sweaty palms. What a freaking revolution it was to see these shifts occur. So, wherever you may be in your journey, I urge you to try to form new habits where possible. It’s all in those baby steps. You may not see any immediate benefits. You may get frustrated. That’s okay. Try to be consistent as possible, and I promise you, change will come.